Oh.

Well that just snuck up on me! In 4 and a half hours we'll meet Bebe! Holy towel bar Batman!!! And for the fun of it... 39 weeks. :)

Bummer

Sadly, yesterday was not it. I was hopeful that they would just do it and get it over with but no. They wanted to see change and while I was contracting, things did not change. This also happened with PM, that's how we ended up in the OR last time. So they sent me home to come back when I'm huffing and puffing through the contractions. Or on Tuesday when I'm 39 weeks and scheduled. Which ever comes first. Poop.

?

It's the butt crack of dawn on a Friday. Could this be it???

a list

1. Clean out my car- seems easy enough until I try to get started
2. Make and freeze some meals for after- again, until I try to get started
3. Finish washing and folding laundry- I'm trying to complete a task that is never ending.
4. Clean the monkey's room- great but he uncleans it for me after about 5 seconds
5. Wrap baby gift for SIL- I. can. do. this.
6. Find a present for Monkey from Bebe- I don't know what to get him!
7. Find a present for Bebe from Monkey- His only suggestion is a Transformer
8. Get bits for my family while they are out- You know, like a thank you!
9. Get used to the idea of being incapacitated for awhile- you never get used to this...

Thoughts on having Bebe

It's almost here, I can tell. At most we have 19 days until we greet the current inhabitant of my belly. I'm am excited to have peanut here. But I'm also a little concerned about having the two of them, home, alone, together. I'll manage. Women have done this for a very long time... But I haven't done it yet so I'm just a titch nervous. I have a lot of things I can do around the house while I'm off but will I? And when my time is up, am I going to want to go back to work? Probably not. We need to get cracking on figuring that dilemma out! But mostly I'm afraid PM is going to feel left out and neglected. I want to take him out, just he and I. And he should also get some Daddy and me time. But when are we going to make that happen??? Because PGY2 is a busy fella. Too many questions. So few answers. Hmmm.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Oh yes. This is going to improve my mood. My car died this morning, I had to call off work. It's at the garage right now and I'm certain this is going to cost a small fortune. One I don't have. Everyone is telling me to just relax. Can I tell you how much that p*sses me off? Like sends my blood pressure through the effing roof off? I'm (usually) a reasonable human being, I understand that things break down and don't always cost a fortune to fix. I also understand that it's just a car. But Dag Nabbit, I'm 9 months pregnant. I'm stuck home with a 4 year old. PGY1 is at work indefinitely. AND I HAVE NO CAR!!!! And it's supposed to be a million degrees outside today. And I ran out of watermelon. And I really want watermelon. Gah, poop.

This place

Yeah, the one I'm in right now. I'm over it. It needs some serious change. I'm over the drama, the looks, the undeniable resentment I'm developing towards it. I don't want to be here anymore. I need something new. How totally lucky for me I happening to be growing someone whose going to provide that something new. But I still have to figure out how to do away with this old. How do other people make this happen? I don't relish the idea of totally getting rid of it but I think perhaps a clean break is needed right now. Any suggestions?

On Bebe front, I'm only a 24 days from being able to definitively say whether it's a boy or a girl! That is sooooo exciting for me!!!! And my cankles!!!! We just need an exersaucer and maybe some cloth diapers (oh and a wardrobe for Bebe since white onesies are really boring) and we'll be set for quite some time!!!! Exciting!!!