Because time flies...

To give you an example of just how spongy my brain has gotten, I was getting dressed the other morning trying to figure out why my belly is already so big? Because I'm not due until the middle of March and that is forever away. Shouldn't it be barely anything more than a slight bump? I mean, really, it's not like I'm 6 months pregnant. Oh. Wait. Yeah I am. {facepalm}

Mommy brain, making intelligent women feel stupid for thousands of years.

Well that's a horse of a different color.

Pirate Monkey is wrong. We are expecting another pink bundle!!!!! Fortunately, I was discharged from Maternal Fetal Medicine today with no need to go back unless my bloodwork gets markedly worse!! Many reasons to celebrate! And, also, more girls in the house than boys!!!!! Woot!!!!

What's in a name?

And more to the point, how does one go on picking names? I'm completely stumped! Right now we refer to the poor little bean as Cletus the Fetus. I can not in good conscience continue that after the kid gets here. Even if it is a boy. Just plain wrong. But seriously, names? Big Brother wants to name the kid Jayden. He's not even entertaining the idea that it could be a girl. He was right last time. But I hate the name... Benjamin? Noah? Jonah? Boogers. This is gonna be rough.

Because knowledge is power.

I'm going to write down what I've learned so far about the trouble we are facing this pregnancy. Somewhere during my pregnancy or delivery of our daughter I was exposed to her blood. Apparently, unlike most of the population, I don't carry the "c" protein on my red blood cells. In normal life this means nothing. My understanding is they don't test for it even when doing a transfusion (which I've never had). So after being exposed my body started to develop antibodies to this protein that it doesn't recognize so if it's exposed again it can attack accordingly, think virus. The problem is that if the baby carries the "c" protein, my body will attack the baby. These antibodies can cross the placenta, will attack the baby's red blood cells and make it anemic. This is where it gets scary and we need some prayers. If it attacks the baby, intervention may be required. Things like blood tests on the baby in utero, fetal transfusion, and early delivery with NICU time were all mentioned. Worst, there's not a single thing anyone can do to prevent it. There's no shot, no pill, no treatment to stop it from occurring. All we can do is watch. So, if you're reading this and feel so inclined, please pray. Pray that the baby isn't a carrier, that if it is a carrier my levels don't increase, that if they do increase the baby stays healthy. What ever you want really. Hugs.

Oh hey...

That's right, I can write on this thing too! We've made it to 16 weeks with an appointment tomorrow. PGY3 gets to go with me so I won't have to pay so much attention to Bebe, that's a plus. I'll have to get bloodwork, so that's a downer. I don't mind needles, I just prefer when they're pointed at someone else ;). We may be getting a minivan. I could cry except PM and Bebe are really starting to go at each other. He "tickles" her, she bites him. Good times. I should probably wait until my head clears up a bit before I try to actually write anymore... First cold of the season!!! Woot!!! (I faked the happy for that last bit.) (You're welcome.)

So, um.

Today at my monthly Dr appt I was informed that I have Anti Little C antigens. This could be a potentially high risk development. If worst comes to worst, Hemolytic Disease of the Newborn. Transfusion for the baby at birth. And there is nothing to do for it but wait and monitor my blood. I'm more than a little scared today. I wish the only thing I had to worry about was some flooding (like all of our neighbors). (They all have at least 18 inches of water to deal with. We have 2 puddles. God bless the sump pump.) :P

The power of positive thinking.

Something I totally don't believe in. That's okay though. We got to see our latest bean flickering away on the screen today! One bean, one perfect little heartbeat! March can get here already!!!

Deja Vu

Oh how I loathe the beginning. I feel like a broken record. Like a tired, old, worn out, broken record. I'm not feeling well but that's a good sign... And if one more person tells me to smile because of it I'm gonna puke on them. It's all I've got and it's a lot gross! Praying for a heartbeat on Monday and for the sickness to pass quickly, I've had hyperemesis twice and apparently that "never happens". Please just let it pass soon!!!!

7

Huh. Here we are again. If you're reading this, please keep it to yourself :)

What a difference a year makes.

Warms my heart...

On the Eve of the Fourth of July...

I am wondering if this is what the founding fathers had in mind? State governments shutting down over an inability to balance the budget. States being sued for demanding that people on welfare pass a drug test before receiving their benefits. Bankruptcy. Violence. A recession that just won't quit. I kind of feel like there is no joy left in being an American and that makes me sad. That there is no recovering from where we are. Not without some major changes that will make a lot of people really angry. I'm not sad for myself. I'm sad for my children and their generation. America was once a great nation and could be again but it's them that will suffer. Kind of makes me want to move to Canada. Except I can't stand Moose. Meh.

I've been such a negative nelly these last few days and I am embarrassed to say I've been taking it out on my husband. So incredibly not fair. He works so hard for our family and only complains a... well he complains some... he complains a lot but for very good reasons. I wish I knew what was eating at me so. It's not the stuff I wrote above. That really just pops into my head around the 4th of July. It's something much deeper and I can't even give it a name. How frustrating! I guess I could blame the heat? Or the pressure of being on such a tight budget all the time? Or maybe because I feel cooped up in the house with the kids all day? (Yeah, we play in the backyard with the neighbors a lot but a change of scenery? That would rock.) I would love to be able to take a vacation without anyone to distract me from it. Selfish? Yes. Necessary? I'm starting to think so. When? No. Freaking. Clue.

Husband, if you are reading this, I'm sorry and I love you. Thank you for all you do. Truly.

Oh yeah. I have a blog.

What have we been up to... Well, it's summer and like all summers before it, I have no clue where the time is going. This month was a lovely one. We got to take a family vacation to the Outer Banks. PM got knocked around by the ocean and so did Bebe :) We got sand in places sand doesn't belong, we ate out on the balcony, we had a diaper disaster, we had a long drive with no air conditioning and some sun burns. We had a great time!

Then we had graduation. Before you get excited, we have graduation every year. It's required. However, we are inching closer to that ultimate goal and in January will be exactly half way! Which starts the countdown!!!

And finally, we had company. Dear Friends visited from Cali with their little man, he's just a couple months younger than Bebe...

There was beer, pulled pork and cuteness all around. And he grabbed her butt. The end.

Photo bomb.

It's been a while...

We've had some stuff going on around here. We had Easter. We had flooding. We had a birthday. We had a visit from Grandpa. We had another birthday. And now we are preparing for our last summer before kindergarten starts! And I can sense it's going to be a busy one.

~skating lessons
~second year of residency graduation
~a trip to NC
~a visit from some west coast peeps
~a birthday
~a joint birthday party
~a trip to MN
~a visit from Gran, Grandpa, Uncle and Cousin
~hockey lessons
~playdates
~kindergarten orientation
~first day of school

Plus whatever else I can manage to get us all into. It's going to be wild this year! Be well!

The joys of home ownership

Our basement flooded. Again. The sump pump took a hiatus (I suggested perhaps the little bobber thingy was stuck) and we ended up with between two and three inches of water all over the place! For shame! But it's all okay now because my darling husband managed to fix it! How you ask? Well, first he went to Big Box store and bought a new pump. Then he took the monkey to a movie. Then he came home and attempted to exchange one pump for the other only to discover that he had no clue how to get the first one out. So off we went to Big Box store to get some hoses and fittings and stuff so he could at least get it started draining the water out until we could get the other pump undone and out. After the Big Box, we got dinner. We get home, he goes downstairs, starts putting together the new pump with the hoses and sets in down in the hole where the other pump already resides because it has to be immersed in water to work wherein it lands on the first pump which triggers it to start pumping water out! So basically, the first pump's do-hickey was stuck and just needed to be hit. But whatever because now we're going to have a nice, dry basement!

8 1/2 months

8 1/2 months ago...

Now...

She's turning into such a little person! I can't wait to see who she will become <3

Blessings

My husband, our son, our daughter, my family, our house, our ability to allow me to stay home with our children, friends, chocolate, ice cream, photos, family trips, date nights, pedicures, manicures, spa days, getting my hair done, reading(quietly to myself), reading to my children, music, art museums, international travel, learning new languages, learning new cultures, theater, dogs, cats, work (yes, work), thai food, cute clothes and sassy ridiculous shoes, long drives alone in the car.

The last 30 years have been good to me. Very good. And I'm excited to see what the next 30 hold. Also, it's my 29th birthday despite whatever else you might hear, mmmmkay?

Tuesday's Love

Because sometimes you just need some love.

*squee*

I found a new toy for my phone!!!!  Now to see if it works??

abc

A. Age: I turn 30 in two weeks.
B. Bed size: Queen
C. Chore you dislike: I HATE folding laundry. I'll wash it, dry it, iron it and put it away. Please don't make me fold it.
D. Dogs: Want one? Yes. Have one? No.
E. Essential start to your day: Caffeine!
F. Favorite color: red
G. Gold or silver: Silver
H. Height: 5'7
I. Instruments you play(ed): I play the flute.
J. Job title: Stay at Home Mom.
K. Kids: Pirate Monkey and Bebe
L. Live: Pennsylvania
M. Mom’s name: Babs
N. Nicknames: Stace
O. Overnight hospital stays: Only after having the babes.
P. Pet peeves: Smart people who do dumb things, chewing with your mouth open.
Q. Quote from a movie:
R. Righty or lefty: Right
S. Siblings: Brother (deceased) 3 years younger, Sister 5 years younger, Step Sister 6 years younger, Half Brother 14 years younger.
T. Time you wake up: When my children will no longer accept any thing else.
U. Underwear: I wear them.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Lima beans, peas and raw tomatoes. And avocados. It's a texture thing.
W.What makes you run late: The babes and my husband. Also, big pet peeve.
X. X-rays you’ve had: Teeth, pelvis, lumbar spine, right knee.
Y. Yummy food you make: lasagna, buffalo chicken dip and a honey spice rubbed pork tenderloin that kinda makes me drool.
Z. Zoo animal favorites: Monkeys

eegads.

Our basement is flooded. With water. And a sump pump. What oh what do I do?!?!?!? Gah!!!!

happy happy joy joy

Mind over matter. Joining the gym. Going to get back in shape. Going to get a mood boost while lifting the old booty. And I am going to be happy about it, damn it. Lol!

Also, 18 days from hitting a new decade. New decade= new start. My twenties, they were good. My thirties I am going to work damn hard to make freaking awesome. No reason to keep being mopey. None.

Also, made a list of things to do this spring.
1. redo the flower beds. (crud)
2. plant an edible garden. (saving money by spending money!)
3. tidy up garage.
4. get membership to a swim club for the summer.
5. want to repaint the downstairs after i paint pm's room and bebe's room.
6. find a style icon for my thirties. no reason to keep slumming it.
7. come to terms with someone starting kindergarten. gah!

Also, I like chocolate domes. And Wegman's. Have a nice night. xoxo

this made my day.

I went out for breakfast with my family. Mine. Still wrapping my head around that. We all had a great time. I went shopping with my daughter (one of many many trips, I'm sure) while the hubby took the dude to a movie. We all had a great time. Then hubby and I went out to dinner sans children. Awesome and we all had a great time. Then we came home and did our respective thing until he went to bed and (finally!) gave up the computer so I could play on it. And that, my friends, is when I found this:

And laughed my butt off. The end.

The State of Our Union

I'd be lying if I said everything was sunshine and unicorn farts around here. We hardly see each other. We barely speak. Not out of anger, mind you. We are just busy and exhausted from our respective other responsibilities. I think. Definitley not anger though. It is causing some stress that neither of us is really sure how to address. Both of us can see it's there. Both of us know it's a problem. How do we fix it? No clue. Our marriage isn't like most people's. He doesn't work normal hours at a 9-5 job. I wasn't born to be a stay-at-home mom. I see it as one of MANY things that make me me. It doesn't define who I am, though. I get no days off. He gets zero days off. But if you asked us what we need most it would be time off together. Without two small but incredibly cute tag-a-longs. Our marriage needs an opportunity to thrive independent of our children. Without that I fear things will only get much worse. Now, the tricky part. How do we accomplish this given our lack of time? Thoughts and suggestions, as always, appreciated.

Bebe ~ 6 1/2 months old

PM 4 1/2 years old


I'm reminded lately that we are very very fortunate just to have two healthy children. Healthy. That's all that matters. I've been pitying myself a lot lately, for a bunch of reasons. I'm unemployed. I miss adult conversation. I miss the interaction. I miss getting a check and recently when we did our taxes my ego took another punch when I was listed as a dependent. I'm dependent on someone for the first time in a very long time. But I can't sit here and wallow because there are two precious little people who are completely dependent on me. Got to get out of the mindset of self pity. Got to get over it. Soon. Because the smaller one is starting to rock back and forth on her hands and knees and soon I won't have time to feel sorry for myself. Maybe that's a good thing.

thoughts

randomness from the last 24 hours

*i get overwhelmed walking into craft stores even when i have a very clear plan of what i'm doing there. seriously, i completely lose track of what i was after as soon as those doors woosh open. it's really disconcerting.

*pm does karate in his sleep. i know this because this morning after the power came back on, i went upstairs to check on him and was treated to a flury of rapid karate chop type movements followed by a smile. and then peace.

*when the power goes out, i wake up. and then i freak out. at least if it's winter. in the 2.5 hours we didn't have power it dropped 6 degrees in our house. i was deciding whether i should bundle everyone up and plop us all in the same bed when it came whirring back on. problem solved.

*bebe really seems to be enjoying herself. she likes eating solids. she likes eating her spoon. okay, she likes eating. and she's getting pretty darn close to being mobile! she regularly gets up on all fours, i'm just waiting for the rocking back and forth that preceeds the crawling.

*also, her eyes are still blue. i pm's took a long time to change but it would be so pretty if hers would stay blue. i always wanted blue eyes. but i remember the good ole punnett square and brown eyed mama plus brown eyed daddy usually equals brown eyed baby. and that okay too!

*i have started planning what will become our annual birthday party. pm was (un)fortunate enough to be born at the beginning of may and his birthday this year actually falls on mother's day. plus the weather is unreliable. so we will be having one party for both of them at the end of july. better weather for outside shenanigans. only have to cook and decorate once. i'm excited because if we do it in the summmer, my family can come out for it!

*i just realized he will be 5(!) in three (3) months. zomg. wow. i'm not sure i'm ready for that but it's a nice distraction from how old i will be in just under 2 months. not ready for that either. but that's a different story for a different day.

xoxo

uncle!

She won't sleep. Or rather she won't stay asleep. I haven't slept through the night since last May. I'd like to do that again some day. But today, today was special. She didn't nap. All day. I laid her down, awake. She screamed. And screamed. I checked on her every five minutes but it didn't matter because she would not stop screaming. Like beat red, been ignored for days screams. And that's just after I laid her down. So I cave, after half an hour, because crying is one thing, hysteria is a whole different cookie. I fed her oatmeal and bananas (she screamed between bites), I gave her a bath (she screamed only slightly less), I gave her a baby massage (two guesses what she did). I laid her back down in her crib. She continued to scream. An hour and a half of non-stop screaming from her. With no obvious reason other than that she was p-i-s-s-e-d. So I go back in, for the 875,657th time and I put her in her car seat. She's out before I can pick it up. So I ask you, how do you wean your child off of sleeping in her car seat? (which for the record mimics how she feels when she's being held.)

Not good.

I've just experienced one of the less pleasant sides of motherhood. For the first time in his life PM caught the stomach flu. The kid actually threw up. At one o'clock in the morning. In his sleep. In his bed. I felt so bad looking at him at the top of the stairs as he stood there wailing, half asleep and covered in muck. He was so scared. So I got him out of his jams and popped him in the tub to get clean and set about doing laundry at one o'clock in the morning. Not really something I've ever felt a need to do. He slept on the couch the rest of the night, for the parts that he could sleep anyways. We all had it but I think he maybe had it the worst. My poor little guy! Apparently it's not something a 7 hour afternoon nap can't fix. Go little dude, go!

On a brighter (and less disgusting) note: nope, no brighter side to this weekend. We spent it sick, all of us. Better luck for the week if possible? That would be awesome!

she bangs! he bangs!

She sits! She rolls! She has rolls! She got up on hands and knees just now! She blows raspberries! She sucks toes! And she gives (really really sloppy) kisses! And laughs! I'd forgotten how much fun it is to participate in the baby phase!

He writes! He draws! He models! He takes pictures! He makes up stories about people and places and things! He cuts and glues and glitters! But not like a certain teenage vampire story. Not like that. It's pretty fantastic being their Mama!

2 years

Two years ago today I stood on a dock out over the Caribbean Sea and exchanged vows with a fabulous man. Two years. Wow.