On the Eve of the Fourth of July...

I am wondering if this is what the founding fathers had in mind? State governments shutting down over an inability to balance the budget. States being sued for demanding that people on welfare pass a drug test before receiving their benefits. Bankruptcy. Violence. A recession that just won't quit. I kind of feel like there is no joy left in being an American and that makes me sad. That there is no recovering from where we are. Not without some major changes that will make a lot of people really angry. I'm not sad for myself. I'm sad for my children and their generation. America was once a great nation and could be again but it's them that will suffer. Kind of makes me want to move to Canada. Except I can't stand Moose. Meh.

I've been such a negative nelly these last few days and I am embarrassed to say I've been taking it out on my husband. So incredibly not fair. He works so hard for our family and only complains a... well he complains some... he complains a lot but for very good reasons. I wish I knew what was eating at me so. It's not the stuff I wrote above. That really just pops into my head around the 4th of July. It's something much deeper and I can't even give it a name. How frustrating! I guess I could blame the heat? Or the pressure of being on such a tight budget all the time? Or maybe because I feel cooped up in the house with the kids all day? (Yeah, we play in the backyard with the neighbors a lot but a change of scenery? That would rock.) I would love to be able to take a vacation without anyone to distract me from it. Selfish? Yes. Necessary? I'm starting to think so. When? No. Freaking. Clue.

Husband, if you are reading this, I'm sorry and I love you. Thank you for all you do. Truly.